Oh hey, three!
I woke up this morning, hungover from a night of studying, too many highlighted notes and one too many shots of espresso. I grabbed my phone, checked my email for updates on my grades, then checked Facebook for updates on my friends as we begin our much-needed, month-long vacation from nursing school. "Three years ago today," my Facebook read, as it showed a picture of me sitting in a chair for the first time after my open heart surgery. "How could I have forgotten about my surgery anniversary yesterday?!" I asked myself.
To be completely honest, at first I was a little disappointed that I had forgotten my "heartiversary", but I was also surprised at how okay I was with my slip-up. People celebrate birthdays, and anniversaries, in different ways every year. This year, I think I was okay with "forgetting". I think I celebrated by embracing life as I know it right now: sleeping in (thank you, weekends), going for a walk through my neighborhood, laughing with my roommates, going to my favorite café where every barista knows my name, my coffee order, whether or not I'll be in later, what clinical rotation I'm in at any given moment ("Maya, did you catch any babies today?").
Maybe it's because I'm too wrapped up in school: 5am alarms, exams every week, late nights at diners and hospitals and coffee shops, caring for patients, cramming info, reading textbooks, writing note after note after note, creating care plans and making nursing diagnoses.
Maybe it's because my scar/ my story has become as much a part of me as my name, or my curly hair, or my light brown eyes. It's just part of who I am. I think it's a little bit of everything, and I'm okay with that. I feel good, I feel healthy. My heart is strong, my scar is healed, my story is just as formative as it was one year ago... two years ago...the day my heart was fixed.
Three years ago, I was sitting in a hospital chair for the first time. Two years ago and last year, I was preparing to start a new school year as a reading specialist and track coach. And now, here I am, sitting in a Starbucks in the middle of Baltimore, on the heels of my penultimate semester of nursing school. I'm in awe.
Look back to remember why you started. Look forward to envision where you're going. Always be grateful.
To be completely honest, at first I was a little disappointed that I had forgotten my "heartiversary", but I was also surprised at how okay I was with my slip-up. People celebrate birthdays, and anniversaries, in different ways every year. This year, I think I was okay with "forgetting". I think I celebrated by embracing life as I know it right now: sleeping in (thank you, weekends), going for a walk through my neighborhood, laughing with my roommates, going to my favorite café where every barista knows my name, my coffee order, whether or not I'll be in later, what clinical rotation I'm in at any given moment ("Maya, did you catch any babies today?").
Maybe it's because I'm too wrapped up in school: 5am alarms, exams every week, late nights at diners and hospitals and coffee shops, caring for patients, cramming info, reading textbooks, writing note after note after note, creating care plans and making nursing diagnoses.
Three years ago, I was sitting in a hospital chair for the first time. Two years ago and last year, I was preparing to start a new school year as a reading specialist and track coach. And now, here I am, sitting in a Starbucks in the middle of Baltimore, on the heels of my penultimate semester of nursing school. I'm in awe.
Look back to remember why you started. Look forward to envision where you're going. Always be grateful.
Hi Maya!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your heartiversary! (belated)
I was also diagnosed with an ASD not that long ago. I just had my surgery done a week ago - Friday, 13th (I guess that's where you hear an evil laugh). Mine was a thoracotomy though, but I definitely can relate to many of your posts! Glad to see you're doing great, and I hope to be there as soon as possible as well :)