Waking Up
I've had a lot of people ask me about what I remember about the first minutes after I woke up from surgery. I don't remember much, but I do remember a few things. Namely, I felt like I had been taking a power nap and had only been asleep for only a few minutes.
One big difference though: In real life, you wake up from your power nap with a little drool on your face and maybe a numb arm from sleeping awkwardly. In open heart surgery life, you wake up from your nap feeling like you've been hit by 37 semi trucks.
1. I made it.
I was relieved when I realized that I had woken up. Because even if I was in pain and unable to breathe, I had made it through the operation. My heart had started beating again after being stopped on the bypass machine.
2. I can't breathe.
One of the very first things I remember is not being able to breathe. My chest was so tight, and my lungs couldn't take in nearly enough air. I wanted to take a deep breath, but I couldn't. It felt like a very large elephant was sitting on my chest. (Also, who came up with that phrase? I highly doubt that anyone knows what it feels like to literally have an elephant sitting on your chest. Just saying.)
3. I'm in pain.
I knew I was in pain, but I was so distracted by the fact that I couldn't breathe that I don't remember registering the pain as a physical feeling. I mostly remember acknowledging that I must have been in pain.
4. I still can't breathe.
In addition to being trampled by the pesky pachyderm on my chest, I also felt like I was being suffocated by my oxygen mask (oh, the irony). When I woke up, I was already extubated and had the O2 mask on my face. I did not appreciate said mask, and so I used my sassiest attitude to inform my nurse that she needed to take it off pronto. I guess my tantrum paid off, because the next thing I knew, I was breathing through a nasal cannula.
5. Where are my tubes.
This sounds really weird, but it was one of the first questions I asked. I had read and prepared for my open heart surgery over the summer, and everything I'd read told me that I'd have a bunch of tubes and wires connected to me, including two chest tubes in my stomach, near the bottom of my sternotomy incision. To my surprise, I only had one tube, and it was sticking out of my bellybutton (eliminated visible scars). So cool. I think I fist bumped my sister at this point.
6. Sight?
It's really weird... I don't remember seeing anything. I'm not saying I couldn't see, I'm just saying that I do not have any real visual memories of what was going on immediately waking up from surgery. I know from post-surgery pictures of me that my eyes were open, but I don't actually have any snapshots in my brain of these moments.
Have any of you had similar experiences waking up from surgery? What do you remember?
One big difference though: In real life, you wake up from your power nap with a little drool on your face and maybe a numb arm from sleeping awkwardly. In open heart surgery life, you wake up from your nap feeling like you've been hit by 37 semi trucks.
I was relieved when I realized that I had woken up. Because even if I was in pain and unable to breathe, I had made it through the operation. My heart had started beating again after being stopped on the bypass machine.
2. I can't breathe.
One of the very first things I remember is not being able to breathe. My chest was so tight, and my lungs couldn't take in nearly enough air. I wanted to take a deep breath, but I couldn't. It felt like a very large elephant was sitting on my chest. (Also, who came up with that phrase? I highly doubt that anyone knows what it feels like to literally have an elephant sitting on your chest. Just saying.)
3. I'm in pain.
I knew I was in pain, but I was so distracted by the fact that I couldn't breathe that I don't remember registering the pain as a physical feeling. I mostly remember acknowledging that I must have been in pain.
4. I still can't breathe.
In addition to being trampled by the pesky pachyderm on my chest, I also felt like I was being suffocated by my oxygen mask (oh, the irony). When I woke up, I was already extubated and had the O2 mask on my face. I did not appreciate said mask, and so I used my sassiest attitude to inform my nurse that she needed to take it off pronto. I guess my tantrum paid off, because the next thing I knew, I was breathing through a nasal cannula.
5. Where are my tubes.
This sounds really weird, but it was one of the first questions I asked. I had read and prepared for my open heart surgery over the summer, and everything I'd read told me that I'd have a bunch of tubes and wires connected to me, including two chest tubes in my stomach, near the bottom of my sternotomy incision. To my surprise, I only had one tube, and it was sticking out of my bellybutton (eliminated visible scars). So cool. I think I fist bumped my sister at this point.
6. Sight?
It's really weird... I don't remember seeing anything. I'm not saying I couldn't see, I'm just saying that I do not have any real visual memories of what was going on immediately waking up from surgery. I know from post-surgery pictures of me that my eyes were open, but I don't actually have any snapshots in my brain of these moments.
Have any of you had similar experiences waking up from surgery? What do you remember?
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