She Believed

Yesterday, something cool happened.

I was taking a shower, jamming out to the Disney Pandora station (obviously), and I reached up to condition my hair. All of a sudden, it hit me-- I was raising my arms above my head. It didn't hurt...not even a little. Even though this sounds so trivial and insignificant, this was something that I couldn't do several weeks ago. Immediately, I started thinking about everything else I could do that I wasn't able to do after my open heart surgery.

I realized that I forgot how far I've come. How many times have I focused on what I can't do, and forgotten what I can do? I remember when I couldn't even raise my arms above my chest, or when I was stuck in my own bed because I wasn't strong enough to get up. I remember when I literally had to plan my day around the 3 minute shower I was going to try to take.

I could write an entire novel on my journey so far, but for now I think a lot of it can be summed up in the following quote:

via. 

I believed. I believed in myself, and I believed in God's grace. I had faith in, and believed in, the love and assistance of my family, my friends, and my medical team. 

I believed I could, so I did. 

I survived open heart surgery. I woke up. I took a breath on my own, without my oxygen mask. I sat up. I stood. I  sat in a chair for the first time. I walked 40 feet (felt like 40 miles). I took my first lap around the CVICU (felt like I'd just won a marathon). I walked. I walked. I walked some more. I left the hospital just 72 hours after surgery. I made it to the end of the block for the first time. I made it around the block.  I ran for the first time. I ran for the second, third, and fourth times. 

I remember laying in bed at Phoenix Children's Hospital and strategizing about how I was going to turn over in bed, calculating how much energy it was going to take, how much pain I was going to be in, and considering whether it would be a bother to ask for my nurse's help. Thinking about taking a shower, or even standing up sounded like an twisted (and incredibly painful) joke. 

Sure, I'm not climbing Mount Everest (yet). I still get tired and have to make time for naps. I still need help lifting heavy things and I'm definitely not planning on signing up for any truck lifting competitions anytime soon (or ever). But I can do so many things. I made it out of that operating room, I made it home, and I'm not just walking around the block...I'm running. It's not too far, only about a mile or so right now. But I believe that eventually, I'll be strong enough to run 2 miles.  And then 2.5. And then 3.1, and 6.2, and 13.1. 

Believing you can do X, Y or Z means believing that every step you take, takes you that much closer to your goal. Don't forget to stop every once in a while and take inventory of how accomplished you already are. Believe in how far you can go by recognizing how far you've already come. Maybe you think you have a long way to go to reach your goal... that's valid. But remember, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." 

Believe you can, and do it. Little by little.